A Bad Case of the Blahs...

The "fuck it" face...

Lately I've been in this horrible funk...
Actually, saying "lately" isn't exactly accurate. I've been in this funk for months...
I know, everyone gets in a funk now and again, but my funks are different, mainly because they last for weeks or even months on end. Imagine how horrible you feel when you're in a funk... Now imagine feeling that way for months without a break from that horrible feeling... That's how I've been feeling. It's very unpleasant. And no matter what I do or what I try, I just can't seem to shake this funk. It's a bit like being stuck in a traffic jam. You can't move forward, you can't move back. You're just stuck in that one spot and it seems like you're going to be stuck there forever, even though you know damned well that you won't be (it just feels like it). This funk I'm in is no different... I know it won't last forever, but it feels as if it will.

Love that clutter...

I've been doing some thinking, looking back and trying to figure out what started this funk in the first place, in an attempt to try and figure a way out of this mess. And I think I pinpointed the issue that started this whole thing... A few months ago, I started suffering from an art block. Every artist goes through this at some point... Suddenly, all the ideas just seem to dry up and you think the well has dried up for good. For creative people, that feels like the end of the world... Under normal circumstances, this, too, shall pass. Inevitably, something inspires and sparks the creativity into light again. But, for me, there's another downside, other than feeling uninspired. Sadly, when the creativity has run dry, the talent seems to go with it. I'm still not sure why that happens... I suppose it's because I can only draw something of worth when there's a clear picture in my head of what I want. So when the inspiration went, so did my ability to draw anything... Even the view at my messy drafting table, which is meant to inspire, hasn't helped me. I haven't drawn anything for months... And I have a sneaking suspicion that this is what started the funk I'm currently in.

Put on that happy face...

A few days ago, I went to a birthday party for a friend... Normally, I'm not a party person because I'm something of an antisocial butterfly. However, when I attend parties thrown by these particular hosts, it's a different scenario. Their sunny dispositions are literally contagious and even an antisocial butterfly like me suddenly becomes a social butterfly. I was looking forward to attending in hopes that it would help me shake this annoying funk. But it seems even the best party hosts couldn't help me... Instead of coming out of my cocoon, I spent several hours pasting on a happy face and not having as good a time as I had hoped or shaking this damned funk... Actually, if anything, that sent me into more of a funk than I was in before.

Perseverance...

At some point, I'm sure this funk will lift. It always has before... But, in the meantime, I'm being crushed under its weight.
All I can do is hope that it can be lifted soon...

...and She Said

We've all had that moment...

In a state of boredom, I decided to go back and take a look at some of the entries I've made in the various blogs I've started (and rarely maintained) over the years. And, through all this reading, I've realized something... I have some really strange ideas bouncing around in my head! Seriously, some of the topics I've chosen to write about were either odd or downright bizarre... Some of the topics of discussion, odd as they were, I enjoyed discussing so much that I incorporated in more than one of my blogs (in particular, the one about me preferring to be a Morlock as opposed to being an Eloi). But, if there is anything I've learned from reading back on all these entries, it's this: There are things that run through my mind that even make me say, "Omg, wtf...?!"

My honey...

Colorfully illustrated by my favorite Japanese rock star, tetsu...

Ah, the animated GIF file... Is there anything more entertaining...?

I flip over you...

Over the years, I created may animated GIF files from various video clips, like this one I created from a clip of tetsu playing the funky bass riff from the L'Arc~en~Ciel tune, "Honey". Actually, the members of this band were some of my favorite subjects to use for these types of files. Part of this was due to their amusing demeanors, and part was due to the fact that I belonged to a few forums dedicated to discussion of various Japanese musical groups.

Yeah, well...

Sadly, the time of belonging to forums has since passed... I find that I sometimes miss the socialization, the strong online friendships that I formed with some of the other members of these forums... And other times I miss it because I really would like to have a use for the hundreds of animated GIF files I created. Which is why, I suppose, I decided to use them here. I mean really, what the fuck else am I going to do with them...?